I said these words to a dear friend recently and it was then
suggested that I use them as my next blog title. Patience is not always easy to
come by (neither are grasshoppers but that’s a whole different topic) in our
fast paced society.
I always thought of myself as a patient woman but looking
back I wonder and I think of the line Billy Crystal spoke near the end of When Harry Met Sally. “When you realize
that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of
your life to start as soon as possible.” When I met Steven Gainsboro I knew he
was “the one”….there are no words that can describe that knowing, you just
know. No matter how much I wanted to move things along (and start the rest of
my life, asap )the relationship needed time, Steven needed time, to grow and
blossom. When we knew we were ready to start a family it was hard to be patient
and wait for that first baby to be conceived and born, but the time had to be
right and it certainly was. When I was eager to move to Charlotte I wanted to
just pack up and move…..but that, too, took time. I learned the ultimate lesson of patience when
Steven was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumor. Waiting for the diagnosis,
waiting through two surgeries, waiting for him to recover from those surgeries
(which he did at record speed!), waiting to learn of treatment options, waiting for MRI results, waiting, waiting, waiting. Patience took on a new
meaning in my life as Steven had difficulty speaking at times—sharing his
thoughts and words, patience as he would move more slowly, patience as he would
sometimes makes requests that were not easily understood or did not make sense
to us. I learned to be that patient caregiver because when you love someone
that deeply you will wait forever to figure out what they need and then, when
possible, provide it for them. I learned patience from the man with whom I
took sacred vows and I learned patience from deep inside my soul but sometimes….sometimes
I forget to be patient…….
We live in an immediate
gratification “I want what I want when I want it” world. So, as you read this
entry I ask that you stop and take a deep breath – in through your nose and out
through your mouth. Relax, release, let it all go. We have all heard the old
adage “good things come to those who wait” and I for one believe that to be
true. I, too, can be guilty of pushing the river – in a hurry to see what the
next chapter of my life will look like. But by doing so I, all of us, are
missing the beauty of each day that passes us by. With each experience (the bad
and the good) comes a new lesson. We must learn those lessons before we can
advance forward and if we don’t learn the lesson(s), we will continue to have
similar experiences time and again. So, have patience and know that the river
flows at its own pace in the direction for which it is intended much like our
lives. The answers to our questions may not be readily at hand so just have
faith that it will all become clear at precisely the moment it is meant to. I
have learned so much over the past few years, and know that I am exactly where
I am supposed to be at this very moment. So sweet river of life, take your
time….it’s all good!
